Finding Your Community" Reconnecting In Today's World
Skills Discussed: How to meet the RIGHT new people, the importance of a strong community, Secret Conversation Building Strategies
For the past 15 years, I’ve struggled with my social network because I lacked self-awareness and clear goals. This led me to explore various connections, resulting in a diverse but ultimately unfulfilling network. I've always envisioned a supportive community where I could engage in like-minded activities, challenge myself, and build a fulfilling life.
My existing networks were "okay". While enjoyable for occasional outings, we lacked common goals, hobbies, and worldviews.
If you're facing similar challenges or seeking a supportive community, read on. I'll guide you on creating your ideal network rather than waiting for it to find you.
A strong community is crucial. These are people who support your goals, challenge you to grow, and engage in shared interests. Why is this important? As social beings, our connections define how we express ourselves and relate to our environment. A like-minded community enhances happiness, provides purpose, fosters idea-sharing, and mutual support. Individuals isolated from community often battle depression, suggesting the significant impact of supportive networks on well-being and personal growth.
How can we build such a community?
"Let's be clear: the secret lies in taking initiative, rather than waiting for others."
Step 1: Clarify your identity and desires.
Answer these questions for yourself:
Who are you as a person?
What are your beliefs and morals?
What activities bring you joy?
What challenges do you face that a new network could help address?
These questions will clarify your interests and what you seek in others.
Step 2: Position yourself to meet like-minded individuals.
While the effort lies with you, remember that you are the primary beneficiary. Seek individuals who complement your lifestyle, share your goals, and support your growth. Identify environments where such connections thrive.
For example, if you're passionate about cooking and wellness:
Attend cooking classes, online or in-person.
Explore health expos, food fairs, or related events.
Engage in online communities centered on health and wellness.
Step 3: Psychology of connecting.
While online research can identify potential communities and events, true progress requires participation. Focus on enjoying activities you love, rather than fixating on meeting specific people. Authenticity matters, yet showing unique traits—like distinctive attire or expressing opinions—can attract interest and conversation.
Step 4: Engaging in conversation.
This step often triggers anxiety. Recognize it as part of public speaking, a common fear.
Why do we fear rejection? Lack of confidence in communication skills is often the culprit. Conversation, like any skill, improves with practice. Personal experience shows that isolation can hinder social ease, underscoring the need for active engagement.
Rejection—often feared in conversation—merely signifies poor timing or unrelated circumstances. It reflects the other person's state, not your value.
To sustain conversation:
People enjoy discussing their passions, so inquire about their interests.
Share insights or spark discussions relevant to their hobbies.
Active listening shows genuine interest and enriches interaction.
Practice makes perfect so I hope you keep some of these ideas in mind the next time you’re talking with someone new. I’ve met some pretty interesting people and ended up in some pretty cool places just from having good conversation. the greatest benefit of all is the amount you will learn and how you will feel when a conversation enriches you.