Thanks Stephanie, it definitely felt uncomfortable while I was going through it, but coming out on the other side, it gave me a nice perspective and actually gave me some ideas on things to talk about that I feel are important, especially when it comes to values. Thanks for your support and I'm so glad this spoke to you.
I am so sorry this happened to you and sadly I understand this all to well. For you to respond in such a beautiful way shows how much work you have truly done. Thank you for being you and doing the hard work! Your work is now helping others. How beautiful is that?! There will always be the ones trying to dim our light but we must shine anyway!
Thanks Noelle, I always appreciate your kind words. To tell you the truth, I'm not really sure what the other person was trying to get across. It seemed like they were just playing games back and fourth. Maybe the game they're actually playing is with themselves. I used to spend weeks, even months trying to figure these things out, but I've since stopped doing that. We will never fully understand why someone decides to make the decisions they make because we're not seeing the world through their eyes. It's part of the reason why I want that person to remain anonymous because they don't deserve to be treated that way. Everyone has a reason why they do what they do, and although we may not always agree with it, it's taken me a long time to come to a place where I can accept it. Doesn't mean I agree with it or even like it, but I do accept it. I appreciate your interest in my work and am so happy to have you here. :D
I completely agree. I used to do the same and now being able to view situations like these in this new way and have acceptance, it’s a much better way to live. I’m glad to be here!
If the person who wrote that list thinks that that list should have been taken sarcastically, they're already showing signs of being super toxic from the start. So, it's not surprising to me that they would put you on blast for complimenting them on what you thought was said in earnest - it's just more toxicity. I like the way you handled it. 🙏🏻💜💫
Thanks Demi, that's a great angle I appreciate you sharing that. It reminded me that some people just like to argue and start stuff no matter what. The deeper thing that came through was the complete lack of how to communicate and have empathy for another's situation or perspective. I used to think that empathy was just a normal thing we all "know how to do" but it is in fact learned. Same with communication. I'm going to start talking about these things more in my work because they are so very important now and lacking in the world.
Of course. And some people have trouble getting there for neurological and biochemical reasons as well, on top of maladaptive wiring from excessive trauma... so many reasons. But it's a good thing to remember that not everyone experiences empathy or has it as their go to response. Just do what you did - take a step back, remember who you are and that you're a good person and that you meant well, reexamine the communication, and see what you see. You were willing to own your part, had there been a part to own. There really wasn't. You did everything right!! It's really not on you at all. And I like the way you turned what you were feeling into a teaching moment to transmute the energy! :)
Hi Nick, I agree on your point that we must not lose the courage to express ourselves.
I would argue though that it isn't just any opinions and any form of self expression. It's the specific content and the identity of who is expressing them that make opinions more likely to be controversial in the current culture.
For example, if a man is talking about abstention from certain forms of hedonism, that is much more likely to be rejected in "society" than if a woman is expressing an opinion on indulging in those same forms of hedonism.
I'm so sorry this happened to you, but it's great the way you've handled it...
Thanks Stephanie, it definitely felt uncomfortable while I was going through it, but coming out on the other side, it gave me a nice perspective and actually gave me some ideas on things to talk about that I feel are important, especially when it comes to values. Thanks for your support and I'm so glad this spoke to you.
I am so sorry this happened to you and sadly I understand this all to well. For you to respond in such a beautiful way shows how much work you have truly done. Thank you for being you and doing the hard work! Your work is now helping others. How beautiful is that?! There will always be the ones trying to dim our light but we must shine anyway!
Thanks Noelle, I always appreciate your kind words. To tell you the truth, I'm not really sure what the other person was trying to get across. It seemed like they were just playing games back and fourth. Maybe the game they're actually playing is with themselves. I used to spend weeks, even months trying to figure these things out, but I've since stopped doing that. We will never fully understand why someone decides to make the decisions they make because we're not seeing the world through their eyes. It's part of the reason why I want that person to remain anonymous because they don't deserve to be treated that way. Everyone has a reason why they do what they do, and although we may not always agree with it, it's taken me a long time to come to a place where I can accept it. Doesn't mean I agree with it or even like it, but I do accept it. I appreciate your interest in my work and am so happy to have you here. :D
I completely agree. I used to do the same and now being able to view situations like these in this new way and have acceptance, it’s a much better way to live. I’m glad to be here!
If the person who wrote that list thinks that that list should have been taken sarcastically, they're already showing signs of being super toxic from the start. So, it's not surprising to me that they would put you on blast for complimenting them on what you thought was said in earnest - it's just more toxicity. I like the way you handled it. 🙏🏻💜💫
Thanks Demi, that's a great angle I appreciate you sharing that. It reminded me that some people just like to argue and start stuff no matter what. The deeper thing that came through was the complete lack of how to communicate and have empathy for another's situation or perspective. I used to think that empathy was just a normal thing we all "know how to do" but it is in fact learned. Same with communication. I'm going to start talking about these things more in my work because they are so very important now and lacking in the world.
Of course. And some people have trouble getting there for neurological and biochemical reasons as well, on top of maladaptive wiring from excessive trauma... so many reasons. But it's a good thing to remember that not everyone experiences empathy or has it as their go to response. Just do what you did - take a step back, remember who you are and that you're a good person and that you meant well, reexamine the communication, and see what you see. You were willing to own your part, had there been a part to own. There really wasn't. You did everything right!! It's really not on you at all. And I like the way you turned what you were feeling into a teaching moment to transmute the energy! :)
Hi Nick, I agree on your point that we must not lose the courage to express ourselves.
I would argue though that it isn't just any opinions and any form of self expression. It's the specific content and the identity of who is expressing them that make opinions more likely to be controversial in the current culture.
For example, if a man is talking about abstention from certain forms of hedonism, that is much more likely to be rejected in "society" than if a woman is expressing an opinion on indulging in those same forms of hedonism.