How To Conquer The #1 Barrier That Blocks Everyone's Success
My relationship with this enemy, how I came out on top, and how you can too!
5 minutes to curtain call everyone!
The screechy, cat-like voice of our stage manager bellowed from backstage with another warning. It was almost showtime.
I felt my heart jolt as if a roller coaster had just begun its descent from the highest point
There were no words to describe the unbearable discomfort that began to come over my entire body.
This… was… real.. I was actually doing this.
There was no way out of this without embarrassment at this point. I was completely locked in.
As 20 year old me stared ahead at the white curtain, I realized it was the one thing separating me from the sea of people in the audience.
I knew that my safety net was about to expire
An audience of 200 was out there that included my entire family. They were all waiting to either see me succeed or flop on my face.
A sheer feeling of terror began to consume me. I felt myself going completely numb and started to shake uncontrollably.
What was happening to me?
I had never felt anything of this magnitude before
6 months prior, right before heading to university, I broke the news to my parents that I wanted to switch my college major from Business to Theater Arts.
I had never performed before, not to mention never took any art or drama classes growing up.
So why the sudden shift?
Shortly before I broke the news to my parents, I watched the movie: Pirates of the Caribbean, and felt a level of excitement and inspiration come over me that I had NEVER felt before.
For the first time, it felt like I knew what I wanted to do with my life. I wanted to perform.
I was making a choice that actually resonated with me, instead of forcing myself to comply with my family’s expectations
The feeling was God-like; I knew it couldn’t be wrong.
So here I was.. On the other side of the curtain.
My friend Nathan backstage noticed me freaking out and ran to my side. He asked me what was going on.
My teeth were chattering as I spoke.
I just want to do good work so badly. All I want is to inspire one person out there to make a change for the better.
Nathan and I had become good friends; he knew all about my story
Nathan:
“But my brother, don’t you see, you already have! I’ve watched you since we started rehearsal. The determination in your eyes from the beginning! The progress you’ve made.. My God! I didn’t know if I wanted to risk 4 years of college on acting. But I do now! You’ve made me realize this is what gives me life. Now I know I can’t trade that for anything”
His hand smacked down on my shoulder in support and stayed there.
My entire body was still numb I hadn’t felt a damn thing in minutes.
But in that moment, I felt something new, deep in my core. It was a warm feeling and it began to slowly expand.
The frozen numbness imprisoning my entire body began to melt from the inside out. Tears briefly came to my eyes. I began to regain composure.
Nathan had snapped me out of one of the darkest trances I had ever been in with just a few sentences. I knew he really meant what he said.
“You got this! You’re going to go out there and kill it. You’ve inspired me brother. My life is changed for the better because of you.”
1 minute to curtain call everyone! Places!
There it was again.. That screechy cat-like voice.. But this time it felt different. Less invasive.
I still wasn’t completely ready, but a massive weight had been lifted off and now I could handle the load.. I had to.
I took my place behind the curtain as it began to open, took a deep breath, and knew in that moment that all would be well either way.
Fast forward to today
I want to address the elephant in the room that no one is REALLY talking about.
What is the number one thing that holds you back and prevents you from doing what you REALLY want to do?
What is the one thing on that day that froze me up on that stage and almost sucked the life force completely out of me?
It can be summed up in one simple word..
FEAR
I bet you're familiar with this enemy, but...
I also bet you don't really understand how to beat it, especially if it still controls your life choices
We hear it talked about ALOT but the question is:
Does that actually mean progress is being made?
A quick look at the world and we can see that fear still dominates the majority of our life decisions, which means we haven't conquered it collectively yet.
Various studies have been done over the years to show that 40-80% of people are unhappy with their jobs and feel lost in terms of their life purpose.
That means people are not doing what they really WANT to do
Why?
It all boils down to fear..
You see..
The majority of people are acquainted with fear. They know it holds them back, but they’re unable to remove the chains and take flight.
Why is that?
A puzzle piece is clearly missing here.
Well I've got good news on that front
There's a formula to conquer fear once and for all and I've figured out what that is.
The story I’ve shared above impacted my life in such a way where I became inspired to learn what really happened on that day.
So how do I know this formula works?
I've tested this formula fairly recently to conquer 2 more things that I NEVER thought I would be able to do.
One of those things was starting a business and growing it to 7 figures alone with no business degree or prior knowledge
The second one?
Learning a foreign language at a native level as an adult without taking any classes or leaving my home city
My family and friends had no faith that I would be able to do these things
In fact they suggested I quit both shortly after I started.
They were proven wrong, by this formula...
So what is it?
It's actually only a 2 step process..
The First Step
Come to an understanding of:
Where fear comes from
What gives fear its power
You can't attack something that you can't see and you can't beat something that you don't understand
I hate to break it to you but..
Your mind doesn't care about you becoming rich, getting in shape, securing a partner, or retiring early for that matter
You may think your mind cares about these things but it only has one main objective.
YOUR SURVIVAL. That's it.
So where does fear come from then?
Your very own mind.
Fear is what our mind creates to protect us from the unknown. It is the mind's master plan to keep us safe and alive at all costs
Why is that?
Your mind is like an outdated operating system that hasn't evolved with the times.
It values survival above all because..
Back in hunter / gatherer times, this was THE most important thing to ensure our species survived and kept on.
Nowadays, that relevancy is almost non-existent since we have modern day systems and laws in place to ensure our safety and survival needs are met
So how do you upgrade your mind to the new operating system?
By realizing where fear get's all it's power from.
Fear get's its power from your imagination!
Something that doesn't even exist in the present moment!
What if I invest in this course and it fails?
What if I write that book and no one buys it?
What if I start that business and have no customers.
None of the above has happened yet. It’s all in your mind
But make no mistake, it is still very real.
Studies have shown that the mind cannot tell the difference between imagination and reality. That’s why your imagination is so powerful.
Instead of imagining failure when we have a big idea, we can choose to imagine ourselves succeeding instead.
Imagine you want to start a blog, but you stop after a thought goes through your head:
What if no one reads it? I will have wasted all this time for nothing.
That’s a fair thought and thoughts like this have passed through my mind MANY times.
But what if the opposite of that thought could also be true?
Imagine you start a blog and not only do people read it, but it changes the lives of thousands, or even millions of people?
If I asked you to imagine that scenario happening in your mind? would you be able to?
Because if you can imagine it, you can create it.
You see, most don’t make the connection that you can actually control your imagination. What if you chose to imagine your success instead of failure?
This is one of the first steps to conquering fear and it actually works!
The Last Step
The final step involves answering the question:
Why is fear my default process?
I learned this from Susan Jeffers, an author who wrote the bestseller: Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway
The book is a marvelous read and I highly recommend it.
But I’m going to jump right to the punch line and share the meat of the book with you in one sentence
The main reason why we fear ANY situation boils down to this one statement.
“We don’t believe that we will be able to handle it”
Whether that fear is the death of a family member, losing our job, speaking our mind, or making enough money to get through the month
I encourage you to see that you CAN handle it.
Why would i make such a bold statement?
Because you’re here reading this right now. You have survived every past fear you’ve ever had
I’m not saying it was easy, but you’re stronger than you can possibly imagine and your past is proof of that.
Let me ask you this.
What if the next time you felt that feeling of fear, no matter the situation, you said to yourself: “I can handle it. I WILL handle it”
Try it out. Those words hold massive power.
And I promise that if you remain open and say those words enough, you will begin to realize that you actually CAN handle it.
Your fear will begin to diminish. It may disappear entirely.
Imagine at this point, entering your imagination and watching a film strip of you “handling” the situation that you fear.
How would you act?
What would that “you” look like?
What or who would be around you to help support you?
Whether the thing you’re actually afraid of ends up coming true or not, I promise that with this framework, you will be equipped to handle it SO much better.
The alternative is going back to the old framework which involves our own minds poisoning us with countless thoughts until we give up or avoid the situation we fear altogether.
My studies on shifting the mind with this framework have allowed me to do things I never would have imagined, including starting this newsletter!
I want to see the same things happening in your life.
I want to see you facing your fears and taking that leap forward!
Trust the process. But most importantly
Trust yourself
P.S.
If you happen to be curious on how that stage performance went, as soon as I went out there, I completely forgot that I was afraid and just did my thing! It worked out great and I’m so glad because it was the only time my grandmother got to see me on stage before she passed.
How interesting it is that the fear we create in our minds is almost always loads bigger than how the actual event goes. That’s the power of the mind. Turn it to your advantage and make it work for you! I’d love to hear some of the fears that you’ve conquered below, and even ones that you’re still working on!
Thank you so much for reading! If you enjoyed this real story about my life, consider subscribing for more stories like this one! Feel free to also share it so someone else can have an uplifting experience 🙏. A beautiful rest of the day to you!
This was ❤️
Awesome! Really feeling this right now. Great share, thank you.