How To Heal When Your Mind Won't Allow You To

A short story about why we resist healing, and how to climb out of that rut for good.

I'm sick of hearing about other people’s accomplishments

These were my exact thoughts 7 years ago when I hit rock bottom.

In an enraged frenzy, I acted impulsively and quit a job I hated because I couldn't take it anymore.

The real scary part?

There was no Plan B. And I continued to spiral out of control.

I felt so alone and unseen by the world.

Support was just non-existent.

To tell you the truth:

I was so angry and pissed off that I couldn't climb out of this hole on my own.

I thought to myself, "I shouldn't need help. If I need help, then I'm weak and a failure."

More thoughts of "What the hell is wrong with me? Why can't I fix this myself?" attacked my mind.

I tried to use my anger as fuel to take action and escape the quicksand I was in.

It didn't work..

Then, I resorted to numbing agents..

Drinking way too much wine in the evenings to kill all feeling was my specialty.

I felt brief moments of relief, but it was so short-lived.

And I always paid a HUGE price afterwards as my body crawled desperately back to homeostasis.

I truly thought this hell would never end.

Then, one morning, just after opening my eyes while still laying in bed, a thought graced me.

Why do I resist healing so much?

One reason was that everyone was telling me HOW to do it, and I don't like being told what to do. I'm stubborn.

The other reason?

I was horrified at what would happen to me if I actually started to heal.

Would I burst into tears? Would I completely lose control?

I was so scared of feeling worse than I already did.

My hell was comfortable.. A part of me actually enjoyed the familiarity

The questions continued to flood in:

What if I actually got out of this rut?

What the hell would I do with my life then?

To be honest, just giving myself this kind of attention made me feel better..

So I dug into things a little more..

What if I'm resisting this path so much because I feel a pressure to do things a certain way?

Let's face it.

Everyone nowadays has a right and a wrong way to do just about everything

If you're not doing it "this way", you're not doing it correctly and it will be a waste of your time.

Then you’ll look like a fool.

That's so much pressure!

The real truth is:

You have the freedom to fully explore what will work for you

Do what works for you, and leave the rest at the door.

And asking for the type of help that YOU need along the way is actually invaluable

You DO NOT need to conquer this alone.

Imagine this for a moment:

There is no RIGHT way to do anything.

It's all about perception.

The ultimate goal here is to FEEL better.

If you feel better doing something a certain way, keep doing more of that.

That's proof it's working for you.

So what’s the secret that I realized?

Start Small

I began to break things down into something less daunting and more manageable.

I wanted to start at a level that wasn't stressful and terrifying for me.

I reduced my expectations and became ok with taking baby steps

I needed to connect back to myself..

It started with 1 minute of just being aware that I was breathing during the day.

The average person takes about 20,000 breaths / day and I realized I wasn't even conscious of ONE of them!

Just spending a minute or two realizing that I was breathing made me feel grounded.

I actually started to feel alive again..

The momentum started to build from there..

As I began to take more time to do small, kind acts for myself, I began to experience a breakthrough

And guess what?

I wanted to care for myself EVEN more.

Nature walks followed, then stretching, followed by light, 5 minute workouts

I made sure I was always in charge of doing what worked best for ME

True mentors and inspirational people started to show up in my life

Because I knew what I wanted, and I began asking for it

I realized I could carve out my own healing journey.

What freedom this was!

Don't be afraid to start small if things haven’t worked for you in the past.

There is absolutely NO SHAME in it.

Take what works for you, leave the rest. Keep going.

You deserve to feel better.

Your way is the right way.

Do what works for you.

Embrace help from people who understand your needs and support them.

I’m rooting for you

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Thank you so much for reading! If you enjoyed this real story about my life, consider subscribing for more stories like this one! Feel free to also share it so someone else can have an uplifting experience 🙏. A beautiful rest of the day to you! Special thanks to

Stephanie Peers

for inspiring me to tell this story after this mornings Lions Gate Presentation