The Secret To Getting Noticed
Want to be seen by others? Want to connect and build fulfilling relationships? Want to feel fulfilled in life? It's all here
Learn More About Your Host: Nick Neve
Welcome to Relationships With A Soul! This is A:
SPECIAL EDITION RELEASE - WEDNESDAY 10/8/25
For those of you who have been following this podcast, you may have noticed that I skipped a few Tuesdays in past weeks and did not release an episode. The reason for this is that life happened for me, and I was in the midst of a deep trauma healing workshop. I’ll do this from time to time to make sure I’m always putting my best foot forward both for myself, and for you.
I really value you all and wanted to release this special edition episode today as a way of making up for the weeks where I missed an episode.
Thank you for trusting me with your time.
Thank you for being here.
I hope this gift I’m about to give you is useful.
Let’s being.
Everyone wants to be seen
Everyone wants to feel valued
Everyone wants to love and be loved
But are we just supposed to wait for someone else to recognize that and give it to us first?
The truth is, that could take quite awhile
What if there was a way we could bring that feeling into our lives without the risk of feeling pain or rejection.
I’ve been studying relationships and human psychology for over 20 years, and I’ve discovered something fascinating
I’ll be sharing that with you today because I craved to connect with others, be noticed, valued, and loved so badly in my life—and I know you want it as well
Let’s get right to it.
Most of us want to connect with others but there’s one thing that stops us.
FEAR
What do we fear exactly?
We fear:
Being Rejected by them
Being ignored by them
Being made fun of by them
Connecting to them, and being abandoned by them shortly after
These are the top ones.
This ultimately stops us from taking action in the first place, and instead, places us on the sidelines, waiting for the other person to reach out, notice us, and make us feel wanted.
There’s something incredibly wrong with this viewpoint.
What’s wrong with it is:
When you desire to connect with someone, you end up stopping in fear because you’re focusing too much on the being rejected by them, and not on how amazing it could be to connect with them.
You’re constantly thinking:
What if they don’t respond?
What if they think I’m not good enough?
What if they unsubscribe?
But what about instead focusing on what COULD happen..
What if we really hit it off?
What if we end up having a lot in common?
What if they become a wonderful friend?
If I met them online, what if I eventually meet some of these friends in person? (sidenote: I have done this` twice so far)
When you start to look at the possibility of building a deep connection with someone, reaching out becomes more of a “numbers game” and less of a “game where you need to be liked and approved by everyone”
I used to craft the perfect image of myself to ensure I was liked by everyone. Even though I worked meticulously at it to ensure success, It didn’t work. It’s not supposed to work.
Instead, you’re supposed to take a chance, reach out, give the other person that recognition and acceptance that you crave—and you will have a strong chance of receiving it back from them.
You can do this by:
Paying them that compliment that you’ve always wanted to share with them.
Asking them a question you’re curious about because you really want to “see them”
Asking them to share their story of how they overcame something you’re interested in overcoming
Let me explain why by focusing more on the excitement of building a new connection, instead of being rejected by them, it becomes more of a numbers game and less personal.
If I reach out to 50 people, and I only get a reply from 10—Let’s say for a moment that out of those 10, I build 2 lasting connections.
Think about that for a moment.
I reached out to 50, I ended up with 2.
That may seem like a failure, but what was the original goal?
To build new deep connections.
And I just did that with 2 new people!
That’s exciting!
I’ve just added 2 close connections to my network that I never would have had
Those 2 people could turn out to add a massive amount of value to my life moving forward, and maybe even join my close circle eventually
Does it really matter that it didn’t work out with the other 48 people?
Not really.. Because I succeeded in building a stronger relationship network for myself.
If instead, I focus on how the other 48 people didn’t reply to me and take that personally, what’s the point in that?
Is it helping me by thinking that way?
If I had let fear get the best of me and not taken action, then I’m still in the same place I was before. I haven’t met anyone new.
This new thought shift has allowed me to reach out to people when I want to and not feel afraid of the result. I’m not searching to be “liked by everyone”. I’m searching to “build exciting new connections that fit with the person I’m becoming.”
Once we start looking at this differently, it becomes a lot easier to connect, a lot more exciting, and a lot more rewarding.
I hope this sparked something for you today and urge you to give this a try, whether it’s with a comment on Substack, a direct message to someone, or even at an event in person.
You’ll be shocked at how often the other person reciprocates and opens up to you, because you gave them the gift we’re all secretly searching for.
The gift of being noticed, seen, and appreciated.
If you have any questions about this framework, I invite you to reach out to me anytime.
Thanks for tuning into this special edition episode, and I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day.
If you’re interested in checking out the other work I do, please visit my website @ www.relationshipswithasoul.com
Substack subscribers get 20% off all my services until October 21. That’s only 2 weeks left on this deal.
I like your advice to flip one’s innate internal script from fearing rejection to embracing potential.