The Truth Behind Rock Bottom Experiences, And The Hidden Message Of Love Behind Them

How a horrific moment in my life actually led me to my life's purpose.

At the red carpet event for: The Perks Of Being A Wallflower

Don't judge a person by a photo.

You may think this version of "me" has it all figured out

This couldn't be further from the truth.

I remember that guy well.

This picture was taken 12 years ago, just a week before I got my first, and last DUI

I had 10 drinks at a party, hooked up with one of the hottest girls there, and then crashed my car into a tree while driving home alone later that night.

As the car hit the tree, I passed out on impact and woke up to the cops knocking on my driver's side window at 2am.

The rest is history.

Here's the 'Cliffsnotes' version of my story and how I overcame common obstacles that slow us all down:

I grew up sheltered and restricted in a small town with 7k people.

I had absolutely no idea how big the world really was.

I thought Catholicism was the only religion and didn't even question all the other beliefs out there—I just assumed they were wrong.

I thought a business degree was the only thing that could make money because that's what my whole family believed.

Everything was pretty much average throughout my childhood until one day I made a bold move and decided I wanted to study acting in college instead of business

I was terrified of performing, but a powerful fire inside me would not let me quit—It forced me forward no matter how big the obstacles in front of me were.

Despite my fears and many failures in the acting world, I stayed in the game until one day after 3 years of incessant grinding, everything changed..

What was the million dollar moment exactly?

One day, I got so worked up during an acting exercise that something inside me exploded.

I threw a metal folding chair into a wall and watched the legs stick right in.

The entire class stood up and erupted in applause, but I didn't hear any of it.

I was too distracted with the change that was happening inside me.

A flashback took over my mind.

I felt my head expanding far beyond what I thought was possible and a review of my past came rushing into my mind like an old film strip moving at light speed.

In those brief moments, my whole life made sense.

I realized:

• The heavy limits I had put on myself for over 20 years

• The bubble I had confined myself to

• The limiting beliefs I had that held me back

• The narrow path that I thought was the only one

I've heard people say: "everything is possible" but in this moment I actually FELT it. That's when you know it's real.

So what had awoken inside me?

Awareness and a clarity that was beyond refreshing. My views began to shift almost instantly.

I realized the negative side of "working for Hollywood", and felt that acting wasn't about fame for me, but instead a journey to uncover my authentic self.

I didn't want to be confined within Hollywood as an actor.

I didn't want an agent telling me where I had to be and at what time.

I didn't want to spend 12+ hours on a hot, grueling film set just because someone else said that's how art is made.

I began acting to inspire change in people through the roles I played.

I believed acting was my only path to inspire others. Now I see countless ways to make a difference.

My acting training was hell but it helped me:

• Challenge societal norms

• Develop critical thinking

• Enhance listening and communication skills

• Improve an understanding of human behavior

• Cultivate empathy and compassion for others

Just when I thought I was out of the weeds, another curve ball came whizzing in.

My parents filed for divorce on a whim, which was a complete shock because I actually thought our family was thriving.

Little did I know all our family problems were being kept from me.

My parents' relationship failed due to poor communication and unwillingness to improve.

The lack of understanding, compassion, and empathy in their relationship meant I also grew up without these crucial relationship skills.

So I set out with the commitment to learn effective communication, especially with women, to avoid repeating my parents' mistakes.

I spent thousands of hours over a 15 year period reading books about relationships, asking women and men lots of questions, and learning the core principles that keep a healthy marriage.

One of the most fascinating things I realized about relationships is that: change doesn't start with the other person but rather with ourselves.

I also wanted to learn how to have strong connections with people and build a friend circle I was proud of.

I traveled around the world, got acquainted with different cultures, and spoke to as many different types of people as possible.

I asked them about:

• Their top relationship values

• Their most effective contributions to friendships

• Key trust-building qualities that make up strong relationships

All of these experiences over a 15 year period helped me understand how big the world really was and what I wanted out of life. These experiences also helped me understand other people and what their common problems were.

Interestingly enough, I came to the conclusion that 90% of people have the same problems.

What are they?

• Feeling misunderstood

• Hesitating due to fear

• Stress and exhaustion

• Isolation and uninspiring connections

Helping people through these painful moments has become my life's work.

Fast forward to today, I love the lifestyle I'm living.

I've met an incredible lady who just happens to be a therapist and we're engaged to be married after 6 happy years together.

Communication has become the backbone of our relationship.

Even though we've been through some incredibly difficult times together (COVID included) our foundation is strong and there's nothing we can't conquer together, as long as we're willing to communicate with each other.

All of this led me to achieving my dream career:

Working with clients to improve their core relationship with themselves and connections with others. I use my experience to provide personalized coaching that inspires change, and growth.

A lot of the work we do together involves overcoming common problems such as:

• Work-life balance

• Time Management

• Relationship challenges

• Optimizing Health & Wellness

It all starts from being able to understand people, what their needs are, and being able to communicate effectively.

This has becomes my life's work.

Alcohol is no longer a part of my life and I'm grateful for the sobriety.

Sometimes, the catastrophes that plague us can seem like "the end".

But usually they can spark great change if we look at them in the right way.

Oftentimes we tend to be grateful for these events in the future because they were the catalyst that ignited change.

Imagine for a moment looking at life from the perspective that life happens FOR us, not TO us.

Everything that happens is a lesson trying to push us in the right direction to get the most out of life

If we live life from that lens, we see that we are no longer the victim.

But rather, on a journey to learn and experience everything we need to know in order to live a fulfilling life.

Life becomes a teacher, and we become eternally grateful for the painful moments. Their existence offers us a signal.

They exist to inspire us to change and become our best selves.

Without them, we become lost in comfort and ultimately end up dissatisfied.

The takeaway?

Embrace life's challenges as opportunities for growth, and you'll transform from a victim of circumstance into the author of your own fulfilling story.

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Thank you so much for reading! If you enjoyed this real story about my life, consider subscribing for more stories like this one! Feel free to also share it so someone else can have an uplifting experience 🙏. A beautiful rest of the day to you!