So a good therapist would be relaxed, grounded, balanced, taking good care of themselves, have a good attitude, accepting of others' decisions and opinions, and not easily offended?
And now for a tangentially related question. When making new friends and looking for a relationship with soul, as you'd put it, what green flags do we look for? For example, in my dating app profiles, I say I'm looking for communication, curiosity, responsibility, and empathy. It strikes me that the qualities you listed of a good therapist would also be green flags for good friends and partners, right?
Thanks for these questions Moorea. In terms of a good therapist, yes, these are good characteristics to look out for because it shows a steady life of balance and discipline. The person emanating this will prove to have control over "how they react to what life throws at them" which signals stability. It's not something easily attained. Along with that quality, they will be able to choose to not allow their personal experiences to get in the way of helping the client with exactly what they need. For example, if the therapist is divorced and no longer believes in marriage, they will be able to refrain from projecting that belief onto a therapy session where a client is excited about marriage. Essentially it's our own personal imbalances and traumatic situations that prevent us from showing up and helping people in the way that best helps them.
Your second question on friendships and dating:
You've listed some excellent qualities that you're looking for, and I wouldn't change anything there. But I would recommend thinking about "how most people look at these words when they see them". For example. Most people believe they are already good communicators and so when they see the word communication, it's very easy for them to just say "I've already got that". Instead, it may be helpful to outline exactly what forms of communication you're looking for. For example:
"I want a lover who is able to sit down with me and talk about their insecurities when they are feeling them. I want them to feel safe to admit they are angry about something and know that I can support them in processing that emotion. This type of honesty is important to me."
In terms of responsibility:
"I want to be with someone who can recognize when they've made a mistake and openly admit it. they have no problem admitting they were wrong and don't take things personally. Instead, they accept that we're not all perfect and here to grow"
So the initial words are great, but clarifying exactly what types of behavior you're looking for will be more helpful in communicating that message across. This info could go anywhere on your dating profile and could even be useful in discussions with friends and family members.
Very true about degrees.
So a good therapist would be relaxed, grounded, balanced, taking good care of themselves, have a good attitude, accepting of others' decisions and opinions, and not easily offended?
And now for a tangentially related question. When making new friends and looking for a relationship with soul, as you'd put it, what green flags do we look for? For example, in my dating app profiles, I say I'm looking for communication, curiosity, responsibility, and empathy. It strikes me that the qualities you listed of a good therapist would also be green flags for good friends and partners, right?
Thanks for these questions Moorea. In terms of a good therapist, yes, these are good characteristics to look out for because it shows a steady life of balance and discipline. The person emanating this will prove to have control over "how they react to what life throws at them" which signals stability. It's not something easily attained. Along with that quality, they will be able to choose to not allow their personal experiences to get in the way of helping the client with exactly what they need. For example, if the therapist is divorced and no longer believes in marriage, they will be able to refrain from projecting that belief onto a therapy session where a client is excited about marriage. Essentially it's our own personal imbalances and traumatic situations that prevent us from showing up and helping people in the way that best helps them.
Your second question on friendships and dating:
You've listed some excellent qualities that you're looking for, and I wouldn't change anything there. But I would recommend thinking about "how most people look at these words when they see them". For example. Most people believe they are already good communicators and so when they see the word communication, it's very easy for them to just say "I've already got that". Instead, it may be helpful to outline exactly what forms of communication you're looking for. For example:
"I want a lover who is able to sit down with me and talk about their insecurities when they are feeling them. I want them to feel safe to admit they are angry about something and know that I can support them in processing that emotion. This type of honesty is important to me."
In terms of responsibility:
"I want to be with someone who can recognize when they've made a mistake and openly admit it. they have no problem admitting they were wrong and don't take things personally. Instead, they accept that we're not all perfect and here to grow"
So the initial words are great, but clarifying exactly what types of behavior you're looking for will be more helpful in communicating that message across. This info could go anywhere on your dating profile and could even be useful in discussions with friends and family members.
Hope this is useful for you!
Thanks so much for your response, Nick. So strange that I somehow missed a notification for it. :(
You are so right about how everyone thinks they are responsible and communicative. Those are really good examples of how to be more specific.
Glad to hear this was helpful Moorea The dating world can be tough but I admire you for
Sticking with it! Always keep putting yourself out there