Welcome to The Relationships With A Soul Podcast
Every Monday, I do a deep dive on a common relationship problem that more than likely, we’ve all experienced at one point or another. And some of us, are actively in these situations right now, which makes these episodes great support systems for you as you push through this problem and arrive on the other side. From observing human behavior over the last 15 years, I’ve seen a lot of the same relationship problems come up again and again. Those will be the ma in ones that we focus on here.
It is my goal that these episodes help you understand yourself better, as well as your relationships. Armed with this new info, you’ll be able to create stronger relationship dynamics with ALL your connections. Trust me, strong connections are worth more than anything money can buy. Once you understand the magic of just one of these connections, you’ll become obsessed. Now let’s get into today’s episode!
Ep 15: "Where Are All The Good Men At?"
“We hear this question all the time—‘Where are all the good men at?’ And the truth is, a lot of men are struggling. We're in the middle of a loneliness epidemic. Men have been taught to suppress emotions, not seek help, and to equate their worth with what they provide. Now they're being asked to be emotionally available, progressive partners, and somehow still be the rock that holds everything down financially—in an economy where a single income barely cuts it.
They're overstimulated by social media, dating apps, porn, and digital overload. They're losing motivation and mojo—not because they’re lazy, but because they’re overwhelmed. So maybe the real question isn’t just ‘where are they?’ but ‘what has happened to them?’
In this episode, we’re digging into how to spot a good man in the chaos—someone who's doing the inner work, who’s showing up, and who can build with you, not just for you.”
Let’s start out with what men are actually facing today.
Most men grow up in families where expressing your feelings not only doesn’t happen, but It’s actually discouraged. Older generations passed this framework down to the younger ones because they thought that expressing emotions openly was a sign of weakness. Boys are taught from a young age that being a real man equates to consistent strength and resilience. Your worth is determined by how well you support your family financially. In a world where it has become increasingly more difficult over the years to support an entire family with just one income, numerous amounts of men are experiencing the bone crushing pressure to meet these financial demands.
On top of that, they are also grappling with:
The repression of emotions and trauma from childhood
Fear of being judged or misunderstood if they open up
The Rise of Escapism— Which includes: gaming, porn, endless scrolling, and numbing out with substances
Safe to say, most men have entered a “shut down” phase not because they’re lazy and don’t care, but because they’re out of emotional bandwidth. Essentially they’ve become too overwhelmed with the expectations of modern day society and don’t know where to turn for correct guidance on how to fix this problem.
I opened up this episode with this information so that we can all have some compassion for what men are going through. Of course that doesn’t mean that when it comes to dating men, you should just settle and accept what’s out there. Even though it has become increasingly more and more difficult to find a good man, they’re still out there if you know how to spot them.
When you’re in the dating world and considering a man for a romantic partnership, here are some key values you want to look out for that will tell you, “this is a truly responsible man I can invest my time and life in”
1. He takes personal responsibility.
He doesn't blame his ex, his parents, or “society” for everything.
He owns his part in things and wants to grow.
2. He’s emotionally curious.
He may not have all the answers, but he’s willing to talk about feelings, ask questions, and be vulnerable—even if it’s uncomfortable.
3. He keeps his word.
You don’t have to guess where you stand with him. He follows through, even on the small stuff.
4. He wants partnership, not a servant.
He sees relationships as a two-way street. He values what you bring beyond looks or status.
5. He’s financially aware—even if not “rich.”
He may not have money pouring out of his pockets, but he’s responsible with money, has goals, and thinks long-term.
6. He respects boundaries and time.
He doesn’t push you, manipulate you, or play games. He listens when you say “no” or need space.
7. He’s not chasing external validation.
He’s not obsessed with clout, flex culture, or how many women he can attract. He’s centered.
8. He talks about the future with inclusion.
He says “we,” not just “I.” He considers your dreams, not just his.
9. He surrounds himself with good men.
His circle matters. Look at the company he keeps—are they growing, committed, grounded?
10. He’s not afraid to be seen.
He’s not hiding behind a facade. He’s present, and willing to be witnessed—even if imperfect.
So now that you have some core values to look out for, what are some questions that you can ask men to “test” them to see if they really have what it takes to enter a supportive relationship with you?
“How do you handle stress when you feel overwhelmed?”
“What does emotional safety look like to you?”
“What did your last relationship teach you?”
“How do you want to feel in a relationship—not just what do you want?”
“How do you handle it when something doesn’t go as planned?”
“How do you stay disciplined to meet goals and expectations?”
Remember, there’s a transcript included below with each podcast episode and I highly recommend using it to save some of these questions and values so you don’t forget about them. You can also bookmark this post.
It’s also important to remember that:
“Even when you meet a man who aligns with your values, who shows up consistently, and makes you feel emotionally safe—it doesn’t mean he’s always going to have it together.”
Real relationships aren’t about finding someone perfect—they’re about building safety, trust, and resilience together.
Ways to Support a Man Through Tough Times:
Create emotional safety.
Instead of pushing him to “open up,” try:
“I’m here if you want to talk. No pressure—I just want you to know you’re not alone.”
Support without fixing.
Men are often conditioned to feel like failures when they’re not in control.
“I trust you to figure this out. And I’ve got your back while you do.”
Respect his process.
Sometimes he needs space before he can speak. Don’t interpret quiet as rejection—ask:
“Would it help to talk it through, or do you need time to think it out first?”
Celebrate effort, not just outcomes.
Acknowledge growth, vulnerability, and the trying.
“I saw how hard you worked to show up today. That means something to me.”
Be a calming presence.
Your energy matters. Sometimes support looks like cooking a meal, rubbing his shoulders, or just sitting together in silence.
Thanks for tuning into this episode, I hope this information was helpful for you! If you’d like to share a unique situation you’re in, I welcome that in the comments! We learn by sharing our stories.
Be sure to tune in every Monday where I’ll be talking about a different problem that is common in relationships and how to go about solving it.
Have a problem you want me to write about? Let me know in the comments or DM me and I may do an episode on it!
Thanks again for reading and have a wonderful week everyone!
THANK YOU for tuning in, supporting my work, and taking this journey with me to becoming a better you. Self-Growth is one of the best things we can gift ourselves with in this lifetime and I am honored that you recognize this podcast can and will help you do just that. Please feel free to leave a comment on what you thought of this episode. You’re welcome to share any struggles that you’re going through of clarification needed to better understand the episode. I respond to all comments and care about your opinions and experiences.
I’ll see you all next Monday where we will explore another common relationship problem and how to best approach it!
A happy week to you all!
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