Learn More About Your Host: Nick Neve
*New Episodes Release Weekly*
Welcome to Relationships With a Soul* — I’m Nick, and this podcast is about learning to connect, not just with others, but with the deepest parts of yourself.
In the world we live in, most connections stay on the surface, we go deeper — into what it truly means to feel seen, supported, and safe.
Each week, we’ll talk about healing old patterns, setting boundaries, and building the kind of relationships that start with self-trust and ripple outward into every part of your life.
Real fulfillment isn’t about having more — it’s about becoming more of who you really are, surrounded by connections that feel true.
I’ve spent over two decades studying human behavior, spirituality, and connection — experimenting, failing, healing, and documenting what truly works. These episodes are here to help you grow through that same process with compassion, curiosity, and courage.
If you’re ready to stop chasing love and start becoming it, you’re in the right place. Let’s get into today’s episode.
EP 38: How to Start Your Self-Improvement Journey (A Beginner’s Guide to Inner Work)
You’re tuning into this episode because you understand that inner work is required for real, sustainable personal growth. Today, we’re talking about how to actually start that self-improvement journey on your own so you can begin making meaningful changes.
We often hear advice like “just take care of yourself,” “love yourself,” “do the inner work.” These are all true, but what if you don’t know what to do next? Where do you start? Do you just meditate and magically things work out?
For some, yes. But if you want something more concrete, I’ve got you covered.
Step 1: Identify Your Bad Habits
The first step in personal development is being willing to settle down for a moment and think honestly about what you’re doing in your life that’s slowing you down. Make a list of your bad habits—the things you know aren’t good for you.
Maybe you’re:
Using substances you don’t need
Drinking too much
Spending excessive time on screens or social media
Giving energy to the wrong people
Stuck in a job that drains you
Taking care of everyone but yourself
All of these make it harder to connect with yourself and others. And maybe you’re scared that giving them up will make life worse.
I get it—that’s exactly how I felt.
That list I just shared with you. Those were my bad habits. I believed if I gave them up, life would be miserable. After all, I started those things thinking they’d make me feel better, more loved, or because everyone else was doing them.
But eventually I realized these were shortcuts to avoid facing my real pain and potential. I’d tried every way around it, and nothing worked. The only path left was straight through.
So I gave things up. I stopped numbing myself with alcohol and substances. I stopped endless TV scrolling. I even stopped taking anxiety supplements. I decided to face life head-on and trust that something greater would catch me.
Here’s what you need to realize: you’re feeling the way you’re feeling for a reason. Your body is trying to tell you something. There’s nothing wrong with you—you just need to be willing to receive the message.
Step 2: Understand Why You Do Them
Once you’re clear on your bad habits, ask yourself why you’re doing these things.
You’re probably doing them for one of two reasons:
First, you believe you need them to self-soothe through difficult times. Life is hard, stressful, and exhausting. Your feelings about that are valid. But life isn’t unconquerable.
Second, you’re distracting yourself because you’re afraid of doing the thing that will actually help you. You’re afraid of real change. And that fear is valid too—the unknown is horrifying. I avoided it for over a decade.
Here’s the bottom line: most people only make changes after something catastrophic happens—a death, job loss, diagnosis, or breakup. Something that makes us realize how short life is. Suddenly, what do you have to lose?
But you don’t have to wait for that moment. You can make that choice now, from a place of self-respect instead of desperation.
Because you matter. Your life matters. You’re here to help people in some way, to do work that moves this planet forward. When you start living in alignment with what you’re meant to do, everything changes. Your energy shifts. You feel lighter. You start actually enjoying being in your own skin.
That’s your signal. When you’re feeling sluggish, frustrated, or anxious, the universe is saying, “This isn’t it—there’s another way.”
Taking Action on Your Personal Growth
One of the best ways to start cultivating self-love is simple: decide to treat yourself better.
And you don’t have to do this alone. Find a support group, accountability partner, or coach. That’s what I did—I hired a coach and joined a support group with like-minded people doing the work. Accepting help isn’t weakness; it’s a gift.
So the real question is: how long are you going to wait?
You’re stronger than you think. When you start building healthy habits and prioritizing your needs, you’ll realize something powerful: those bad habits you thought made life better were actually making it worse.
And those changes you thought would be boring—reading, working out, eating healthy, going to bed early, saying no to things you’re not interested in—those become the moments you look forward to. Those create the foundation for genuine self-care.
That’s what happened for me. These small shifts completely changed how I live and think.
The Timeline for Transformation
It doesn’t take as long as you think. You’ll feel a difference within a week or two, maybe even days. By one to two months, you’ll be a completely different person.
You’ll feel younger, more energetic, more grounded. There’s nothing stronger than a person rooted in their own body, doing what they feel called to do for their well-being.
Listen to how you feel inside. If the change makes you feel good, makes you feel alive—that’s all the confirmation you need. You’re looking for long-term fulfillment, not short-term dopamine hits.
One Final Thought on Instant Gratification
This world of technology and instant delivery has created a mindset where if it isn’t instant, it isn’t worth it. But don’t apply that to personal development, building healthy habits, or nurturing relationships. These still take time—about as much as they always did before we became an “instant society.”
If a big change takes one to two months, but you get to live as your improved, authentic self for the next 20+ years, what’s not worth it about that?
And when you get through it, you’ll realize it wasn’t even a sacrifice—you just thought you couldn’t live without your old lifestyle, even though it was preventing you from becoming all of this.
Your Next Step
Don’t try to change everything at once. Start small. Pick one thing you can let go of or shift—one thing that will help you take better care of yourself.
Do it because you matter. Because your life is important. Because this is an act of self-love.
I’m right here with you, doing the work every day. I’m sharing this because I’ve lived it and come out the other side so much better, lighter, and more alive.
Thank you for tuning in. I appreciate you—and I’ll see you in the next one.
If you enjoyed this episode and want more free content, check out my Substack by searching “Relationships With A Soul” and make sure you subscribe for free. Remember, surrounding yourself with people who are doing the work every day is a huge support, and I’d love to join your network
If this episode resonated with you, take one thing you learned today and put it into practice — even in a small way.
That’s how change starts — one act of self-respect at a time.
I’ll see you next week for more conversations that bring you back home to yourself.
If you’re interested in checking out the other work I do, please visit my website @ www.relationshipswithasoul.com
I’d also love you to join me on Substack. Just search “relationships with a soul” to become a part of the community. There you’ll find daily inspirational quotes, and essays to read on how to build better connections and a better you.
Substack subscribers get 20% off all my services until October 21. That’s less than 2 weeks left on this deal. Reach out to take advantage of this promotion.
