Where Have All The Good People Gone?
And Why It's Not Their Fault...
“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”
— Martin Luther King Jr.
Life isn’t getting easier — it’s getting heavier.
We keep getting promised otherwise. But is that really happening?
This isn’t about politics—It’s about how society is evolving — or unraveling under the weight of systems that aren’t working.
No matter where you stand, we’re all living under the same pressure.
And it’s changing us.
It’s important to understand this dynamic on the direction the world is going in because it has such a huge impact on how people are choosing to live their lives nowadays
Humans are creatures of survival after all. We do have conscious thought which sparks a huge difference between us and the rest of the animal kingdom
But that doesn’t mean we still don’t have a strong level of animal instinct, and when that part of us gets triggered, we can get lost in it— So much in fact, that our entire lives begin to run on autopilot from that simple fight or flight response.
Like someone drifting into a fog, unaware they’re losing their way, most people don’t even realize they’re living from a place of constant survival.
To put it simply:
Most people are drowning — but some are still swimming against the current.
They’re the ones worth connecting with.
And if you know what to look for, you’ll spot them.
When life gets harder, people are forced to adapt in order to survive.
But that doesn’t mean that everyone is going to be strong enough to “rise to the occasion”.
Some will begin to slip — others will give up entirely.
When you’re out in the world, looking for new, strong, reliable connections to add to your network, it helps to know some core values to look for that often signal that a person is strong, reliable, and has their shit together.
Here’s what most people miss:
It’s not that good people have disappeared — it’s that most are drowning.
When life gets harder, people aren't becoming worse — they’re becoming overwhelmed. Burnout, overstimulation, financial stress, and emotional fatigue are silently reshaping how people behave. Ghosting, flaking, shutting down… it’s not always a reflection of who someone is — sometimes it’s just a reflection of what they’re carrying.
People can’t give what they don’t have.
So while it’s easy to feel jaded or assume that no one is reliable anymore, it’s more accurate to say this:
Most people are in survival mode — not selfish mode.
But here’s the hard truth:
Even if it’s not their fault, it is your responsibility to choose wisely.
Because not everyone will rise in hard times — and that’s why discernment matters more than ever.
So if you’re trying to build meaningful relationships — the kind that don’t flake when life gets hard — you need to look deeper than appearances.
You can’t just look at someone’s job, their Instagram, or how well they “seem” to be doing.
You have to watch for the values that stay solid even when everything else is falling apart.
Here are a few to keep an eye out for:
Consistency over charisma.
Lots of people know how to charm a room. But the ones who show up when it’s boring, hard, or inconvenient? That’s rare.Emotional regulation.
Can they sit with discomfort? Or do they react, blame, ghost, or implode when something doesn’t go their way?Accountability.
Do they own their impact, even when it’s unintentional? Or do they default to defensiveness?Capacity.
Not just energy — emotional capacity. Can they actually hold space for others, or are they barely keeping themselves afloat?Curiosity.
People who are still willing to learn, grow, and reflect especially when life is hard are more likely to stay rooted in their values, not just react to the chaos.
We’re all trying to navigate a world that feels heavier than ever.
But that doesn’t mean deep connection is out of reach.
It just means we have to get smarter about how we see people.
Not for their potential, not for how they present — but for the values they live by when life isn’t easy.
One of the coolest things I’ve realized while exploring this?
When you start looking for those values in others, you naturally begin to embody them more yourself.
Because connection doesn’t start with finding the good ones — it starts with being one.
If you’ve been feeling disconnected, discouraged, or like you’re the only one trying — you’re not alone.
There are still good people out there. People who care. Who try. Who show up.
They’re just harder to see in a world that rewards appearances over integrity.
But the moment you start looking for what’s real — and choosing to live by it — your world begins to shift.
It’s not about finding perfect people.
It’s about finding present ones.
And being one, too.
Who’s one person in your life that lives by these values — even when it’s hard? Tag them or send them this.
Or leave a comment sharing one value you’re personally committed to holding onto, no matter what.
Thanks for reading! If you feel called to connect, message me anytime! My door is always open!
