Why You Can't Bring Yourself To Meditate
The reason why, and the solution, all in one place
Meditation…
We hear about it all the time.
Actually the truth is
We’re sick of hearing about it…
Perhaps even downright angry at hearing the damn suggestion over and over again
But the advice just keeps smacking us again and again on repeat..
It keeps whispering into our ear:
Just meditate…
But we don’t actually believe THATS going to make life “incredible”…
If we did, everyone would be diving out of bed every morning and running for their “meditation chamber” first thing
Instead what do we do?
Grab a cup of coffee, dive into stimulating devices or rush through our busy, jam-packed morning routine as we zoom from one thing to another.
The result?
Usually we’re left burnt out, stressed, anxious, and…
frustrated—not fulfilled.
Simply put, when we’re in this state, the last thing we want to do is slow down and just meditate…
How is THAT going to solve our problems?
In fact, how is anything going to get DONE from closing our eyes and sitting down?
How will daily tasks that stress us out in the first place be cleared from our plate if we don’t take action?
There’s just so much to do all the time before we can FINALLY relax.
This all used to make complete sense to me. (and it still does in a way)
The thing is, there’s another way to see this picture…
Let me explain why my mind, and perhaps yours too, resists meditation
Meet My Mind
Meditation has been a part of my life for over 15 years. and for all 15, I have been fighting it. It’s one of those things I’ve had to either trick myself into doing, or just downright force myself to engage in.
My mind would always tell me it was a waste of time. That I didn’t need it. I could just go do whatever I wanted and live life however I wanted. Like a fish just effortlessly swimming through water.
No training required
Let’s just be experts.
That was me. (And on rare occasions now, still is)
The plan sounded fantastic—but it wasn’t a reality.
The reality was that my life was stressful, mostly chaotic, and did not unfold the way I imagined it would. I couldn't just execute my goals effortlessly and was met with lots of resistance. I guess life wasn't as easy and automatic as my mind perceived it to be...
After 5 years of mostly failing to force my dream life, I realized:
I couldn’t just “get up and do it”
I always knew that something was blocking me.
I also knew mind needed organizing and taming. I was conscious of that..
I just couldn’t bring myself to do that kind of inner work
I tried to force myself to mediate for those 5 years and realized that:
knowing the benefits combined with willpower just weren’t enough to make it happen.
The question is:
What was I so afraid of?
The first thing I was afraid of was diving deep into that very question.
After getting past that, I realized what my ultimate fear was:
The Unknown..
The inner workings of my mind, to be precise.
I couldn’t stop thinking about what would happen if I surrendered control.
Where would my mind take me?
Would it be some place with horrible memories and negative thoughts?
I hated not knowing…
I got sick a few weeks ago and was forced to slow down to a level that I was reminded is foreign to me. Most of my energy was just stripped away, but there was a calming energy that remained which allowed me to stay in one place much longer than usual
Then it hit me.
I realized what had been preventing me from sitting down and taking the time to meditate all these years.
Constant Anxiety.
I honestly didn’t even see it at first, but I realized that I was so anxious and overstimulated that I couldn’t bring myself to sit down and breathe.
On some level, In that perked up state, I didn’t even want to.
I enjoyed being overstimulated.
It seemed to be a much more exhilarating experience than feeling:
calm
peaceful
tranquil
That just seemed boring to me. I wanted to feel alive all the time and be jazzed up about every moment.
Besides.. I had thought I was already calm.
The truth is, I had forgotten what calm even felt like
I was waking up every day, just letting my mind run the show.
After all, that’s what we’re supposed to do right? Trust our minds?
Let me ask you a question I asked myself back then.
How much does your mind help you… really…
Contemplating this, I found out that my mind helps me very little when it comes to making decisions.
In fact, my mind is much more interested in keeping me safe, comfortable, and stuck in one place.
If my mind had its way with me, it would chain me to a chair and that would be my life.
Nothing can hurt you if you take no action right?
Wrong…
The pain of not taking action is far worse than any pain that comes from taking action.
We just don’t realize the pain we’re in oftentimes because the mind has all these comfortable activities to distract us with such as:
Scrolling
Netflix
Comfort Food
Drugs
So where do we go from here?
I think we all can come to some sort of agreement that meditation ultimately helps us and does not harm us.
So how do we start doing it with this new information?
The mistake is just trying to force ourselves to sit down and meditate. If that’s not working out, it means there’s something else that needs to be done first.
So if that’s the case for you (it was for me) I recommend this.
Don’t meditate.
Watch how quickly your anxiety about meditation goes down when you take away all the pressure to do it entirely.
Before you can sit down and allow yourself to meditate, you’ll need to reduce your level of anxiety or overstimulation. From my analysis through trial and error, this is the very thing that keeps us from being able to stop and take some recovery time for ourselves.
Instead, I’d like to ask you if you’d be willing to take 10 deep breaths in a relaxing space.
Total time to do this exercise daily, 1 minute
There is one catch that shouldn't be a deal breaker here.
When you take that 1 minute for yourself, make sure you are fully present and willing to set aside that time for yourself. Add some music to your environment if it feels right. Nature sounds on Youtube are great as well. Remember, it’s only 1 minute.
Then, sit or lay down and take a great big inhale, followed by a slower, long exhale
Focus on the fresh air coming into your body. As it leaves your body, imagine all your anxieties and stresses flowing out with it.
So after you complete your 1 minute of breathing, what has happened exactly?
What you’ve just done is took 1 minute of time out of your day to re-ground yourself and take a break from your daily routine. This allows for you to change your mental state and begin to recognize what conscious breathing can actually do for you.
Most of us go through an entire day without remembering one breath we took (unconscious breathing)
Make sure you thank yourself after this practice for being willing to do this for yourself.
Once you begin to realize how much the breath can help you daily, you’ll be willing to take more time out of the day to do it more. But don’t do that until you feel ready. For now, just keep trying this practice for 1 minute a day
If you begin to feel inspired by this exercise, you can increase it to twice per day ( 2 mins)
You can also do longer sets than 1 minute if you find that you’re really enjoying the experience.
This is a great way to “graduate” into an original meditation practice.
IT’S ALL ABOUT BEING WILLING TO START SMALL
If you try this method out, definitely let me know how you’re going with it either in the comments here or a DM! I’d love to support you and help if you need it.
Meditation is always easier with a group. If you’d like to meditate with me, I’m happy to start one so we can all benefit together!
Thanks for reading! I hope this was helpful for you!
Start slow! As with everything, we mustn’t force, but flow. I like how you also shared your practice and your passion seeps through!