This really hit home. My husband and I are Asian, and our marriage was essentially arranged. We were introduced by our parents through a mutual family friend who believed we’d be a good match. They gave us space to get to know each other—and surprisingly, it worked.
Just four months in, we were planning our wedding.
What made it work wasn’t just chemistry—it was radical honesty. From the start, we talked about everything: our values around money, kids, careers, and life goals. We laid our cards on the table, shared our pasts, our messiest mistakes, and the things we weren’t proud of.
My husband, who’s ten years older than me, told me upfront he wasn’t here to waste time. And with the quiet weight of our families behind us, there was no space for games—only clarity.
In retrospect, we both agreed that because we didn’t know each other for long, the spark didn’t burn fast and wild. It burned slow—steady. And that slow burn didn’t fizzle out. It grew deeper. Stronger. Ten years married and two kids later now, the flame is still very much alive.
We didn’t wait 2 years, but we did have to learn many of these lessons after becoming parents. What saved us wasn’t just compatibility—it was intentional intimacy. Rebuilding our emotional and sensual connection didn’t just heal our marriage. It made me a more grounded mother and a more fulfilled woman.
That’s what I write about now—how passion and connection evolve after kids.
I just launched a Substack exploring intimacy, sensuality, and real partnership in long-term love. If that resonates, I’d love for you to come have a peek!☺️
This really hit home. My husband and I are Asian, and our marriage was essentially arranged. We were introduced by our parents through a mutual family friend who believed we’d be a good match. They gave us space to get to know each other—and surprisingly, it worked.
Just four months in, we were planning our wedding.
What made it work wasn’t just chemistry—it was radical honesty. From the start, we talked about everything: our values around money, kids, careers, and life goals. We laid our cards on the table, shared our pasts, our messiest mistakes, and the things we weren’t proud of.
My husband, who’s ten years older than me, told me upfront he wasn’t here to waste time. And with the quiet weight of our families behind us, there was no space for games—only clarity.
In retrospect, we both agreed that because we didn’t know each other for long, the spark didn’t burn fast and wild. It burned slow—steady. And that slow burn didn’t fizzle out. It grew deeper. Stronger. Ten years married and two kids later now, the flame is still very much alive.
We didn’t wait 2 years, but we did have to learn many of these lessons after becoming parents. What saved us wasn’t just compatibility—it was intentional intimacy. Rebuilding our emotional and sensual connection didn’t just heal our marriage. It made me a more grounded mother and a more fulfilled woman.
That’s what I write about now—how passion and connection evolve after kids.
I just launched a Substack exploring intimacy, sensuality, and real partnership in long-term love. If that resonates, I’d love for you to come have a peek!☺️
-S.