Welcome to The Relationships With A Soul Podcast
Every Tuesday, I do a deep dive on a common relationship problem that more than likely, we’ve all experienced at one point or another. And some of us, are actively in these situations right now, which makes these episodes great support systems for you as you push through this problem and arrive on the other side. From observing human behavior over the last 15 years, I’ve seen a lot of the same relationship problems come up again and again. Those will be the ma in ones that we focus on here.
It is my goal that these episodes help you understand yourself better, as well as your relationships. Armed with this new info, you’ll be able to create stronger relationship dynamics with ALL your connections. Trust me, strong connections are worth more than anything money can buy. Once you understand the magic of just one of these connections, you’ll become obsessed. Now let’s get into today’s episode!
EP 34: You Have No Idea How Much Your Choices Affect The World
Welcome to today’s episode. This episode is for the people who really want to do the inner work on themselves—the people who recognize that there is no long-term satisfaction in accumulating materialistic possessions or numbing themselves with endless dopamine. No matter how much dopamine we take in, we get used to it, and raise the bar, which means we crave even more to be “temporarily satisfied”
This episode is not going to be easy to digest. It will probably trigger a lot of people, but there is a truth here that many people will recognize but feel resistance accepting.
Why This Matters for Your Relationships
This episode is about forming an ironclad relationship with yourself, realizing that you are the seed to be planted. When that seed is planted, it grows and spreads to everyone in your life. Everyone you meet and eventually include in your world will be impacted in a positive, inspirational way because of the choices you make now to love yourself and work on the deepest parts of you that matter.
Some call this inner work. Some call it purification or healing. Whatever you call it, the essence is the same:
Healing the parts of you that allow you to move in harmony with the universe and love yourself genuinely is the ultimate goal.
Most people really have no idea how much their daily actions affect the people in their environment. Every choice you make matters, every act of kindness or hate leaves an impact on more people than you realize.
When you do work on yourself, the energy that you emit becomes contagious. It inspires and impacts every single person you meet, and furthermore, it impacts every person they meet. It really does act as a butterfly effect and we’re going to get into how that works in just a minute.
On the flip side, if you choose not to work on yourself, your imbalances will show through your actions. They will cause you to act out and make choices that will harm those around you, and those people will pass on that harm to others more quickly than you realize.
For example:
If you’re on the road and someone cuts you off, and you slam the horn and flip them off, that person’s day is impacted. They might then treat a barista rudely, who could go home and get into a fight with their partner—and the cycle continues.
This is why kindness and love are some of the greatest gifts you can give.
As humans, we underestimate the level of impact we have on others. Our imbalances harm far more people than we could ever imagine.
Every person wants to feel validated, accepted, and understood. If your daily choices are made from a center of kindness, compassion, empathy, and patience, you have much better odds at changing their day, which will slowly change their lives, and even more jaw dropping—change the world around you.
This is why doing the inner work and cultivating a healthy relationship with yourself matters—not just for you, but for humanity as a whole. It’s literally the best thing that you can do on this earth, and you can start from wherever you are, for free.
This episode won’t focus on how to do the inner work—that’s a much bigger discussion.
Instead, my goal is to inspire you to begin this journey or stay committed to it if you’re already on it. I’ll share why I believe this is the only work that truly matters right now, aside from making money to meet basic survival needs.
The Distraction of Modern Life
The reason I’m making this episode is because the majority of people today are obsessed with money and entertainment—essentially with numbing themselves through dopamine hits to subconsciously avoid working on themselves. There’s a true terror in encountering your demons and learning about why you have those bad habits that subconsciously self-sabotage your life.
Most of us are distracting ourselves daily, some in secret and some openly. We’ll do almost anything to avoid feeling the full spectrum of life’s emotions—both positive and negative.
We rely on substances like:
Caffeine
Alcohol
Prescription medication
Marijuana
Nicotine
And countless other mind-altering substances
All of this is to distract ourselves from feeling heavy emotions.
When we think of “heavy emotions,” we tend to think of only the negative ones—anger, grief, sadness.
But what about positive emotions? Are we truly able to hold space for love, abundance, and joy?
The other night, my wife and I were watching an interview with Elizabeth Gilbert on the Oprah show.
She shared how, after her book Eat Pray Love exploded, she suddenly had a huge surplus of money in her mid 30s. She found herself going out into the street, literally giving money away. Why? Because she couldn’t hold the frequency of that abundance. She didn’t believe she deserved it. She didn’t know how to handle it.
We often see this pattern when people come into money quickly.
From the outside, it might look like generosity, but often the truth is that they can’t accept the abundance—they feel unworthy of it. So they want to get rid of it as quickly as possible because it makes them feel uncomfortable. They simply can’t handle the newfound responsibility.
This happens in many areas of life though not just money:
People find it difficult to accept other positive things in life such as:
Receiving compliments
Receiving gifts
Getting promotions
Receiving inheritances
When we can’t accept positive emotions, we unconsciously self-sabotage and find ways to “give it all back.” Doing the inner work here will help us realize that we really are worth it, and the universe is trying it’s best to remind us of that by giving us these wonderful experience. We just need to learn how to accept them and feel genuine gratitude from the inside.
So why are we so scattered and distracted from the work that truly matters?
Because we’re constantly managing our emotional state with outside sources, we’re not thinking clearly.
We lose touch with the present moment, and life becomes a blur because we’re jumping from one anxious moment to the other in a constant state of fight or flight
We’re avoiding any feeling that is not manageable and immediately seeking comfort and safety
Instead, if we allow ourselves to slow down for a moment, we can realize something magical.
Every feeling—anger, sadness, fear, joy—exists to communicate a message.
It’s all necessary and it’s the universe’s way of communicating with us. If we close that door or constantly alter our state because we feel it is “wrong”, we will never receive the message.
We never truly experience what our soul craves: which is to feel every emotion fully. We want to feel so that we can learn from that feeling and add to the depth of our soul experience.
I believe that when we leave this planet, the only thing we take with us are the memories and experiences of the soul.
Material possessions stay behind. Even if they’re passed down, they don’t last forever.
Everything here is borrowed.
And here’s the paradox:
You can only truly enjoy what you have when you’re calm and whole on the inside.
If you’re constantly stressed, numbing, and distracting yourself, you’ll never truly enjoy your success, your relationships, or your experiences.
Why Time Flies By
In my almost 40 years, I’ve never heard anyone say life is long—or that time passes slowly.
Why? Because most people are constantly rushing—avoiding pain, avoiding change, and clinging to comfort.
This creates decades of the same experiences:
The same job
The same habits
The same distractions
Then one day, you wake up and say, “I can’t believe I’m 40. I can’t believe I’m 50.”
It’s because when you have almost the exact same routine for decades, the mind just blends all of these together. It seems like time has gone by so fast because you expected to do more, but all you really did was more of the same.
Meanwhile, massive progress can sometimes happen in just six months to a year—if you step outside that comfort zone.
Im Here to tell you that if you decide to do this work, The Ego Will Resist
Some people will hear this and get triggered.
They’ll be thinking:
“So what, are you saying I can’t enjoy life? That I have to give up everything?”
That’s actually not what I’m saying at all.
I’m saying we need balance.
We must enjoy what we have while also learning to feel every emotion fully—without taking it personally.
Every emotion is a message.
Every experience is meant to enrich your soul and make you a better human being.
Dr. Joe Dispenza was in a near fatal car accident in the 80s and was told he would never walk again. He chose to believe differently and that absolutely horrible experience resulted in him creating a health movement and helping millions of people today. Had that awful event never occurred, he wouldn’t have left this impact on our world.
I want to touch on the truth about happiness for a moment because so many people are after it.
The world tells us that what we really want is happiness.
But here’s the truth:
We don’t crave happiness. We crave peace.
Happiness cannot exist without its opposite—pain, discomfort, sadness, and anger.
Without contrast, happiness has no meaning.
What we are truly seeking is peace and fulfillment:
A state of being where, no matter what happens, we know we will be okay.
Look at life like a video game for a moment
Think about a role-playing video game where you collect items—armor, gold, property.
At the end of the game, none of it matters.
When you stop playing, it all stays behind.
Life is the same.
The only thing you take with you is the experience of playing the game—the memories and lessons you’ve gained.
The Work That Truly Matters Is:
Learning to sit with your emotions, to feel them fully—that is the only true wealth.
It enriches your soul and can never be taken away.
When you do this work:
You impact everyone around you in the most positive way possible.
You become the best version of yourself.
You inspire and uplift others through your very presence.
When you don’t do this work, you leave an ocean of potential spiritual wealth untapped. You settle for chasing materialism while missing out on the unlimited source of peace your soul really craves. It’s the only path to filling that common void most of us feel for good.
Closing Thoughts
Hopefully, this episode has inspired you to at least look inward and explore what doing the inner work really means. It’s not easy work but that’s why the reward at the end is so fulfilling. Imagine a life with a relaxed nervous system, no matter how busy you are. You understand yourself, have set adequate boundaries, and know how to “taste” life but not overindulge in it. Essentially you’ve not only mastered a balanced lifestyle, but you know how to give yourself the love and attention that you need to truly work through life’s lessons on your own terms. This is the true gift that you get from doing this kind of work. And it will be reflected in how you feel about yourself, the rich connections you build around you, and the depth at which you’re able to take in lifes experiences and truly relish in the joy of living. This is secretly what we all want and this is the path to getting it.
It’s not about fads or appearing enlightened.
It’s about actually doing the work—and living the experience.
The relationship you build with yourself is the foundation for every other relationship in your life.
Heal yourself, and you indirectly begin to heal the world around you
If you’re inspired by this post and want to start working on yourself or go deeper with work you’re already doing, send me a message and let’s talk. I’d love to hear what your goals are.
As always, if you need clarification on anything or have additional questions, my door and DMS are always open. You can also visit my website by clicking the photo below. Substack subscribers get 20% off all my services for a limited time. DM me to get that discount.
THANK YOU for tuning in, supporting my work, and taking this journey with me to becoming a better you. Self-Growth is one of the best things we can gift ourselves with in this lifetime and I am honored that you recognize this podcast can and will help you do just that. Please feel free to leave a comment on what you thought of this episode. You’re welcome to share any struggles that you’re going through of clarification needed to better understand the episode. I respond to all comments and care about your opinions and experiences.
I’ll see you all next Tuesday where we will explore another common relationship problem and how to best approach it!
A happy week to you all!
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